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I’ll be honest, I am 30 years old and up until three years ago I never thought about marriage.
It’s a strange thing to admit, but the best way to describe it is that I could never feel it.
I never dreamt of the big day, could never see myself walking down the aisle, and never once thought about the dress!
As I got older and moved to NYC, I started to hear friends of mine talk about their dreams of getting married, finding a husband, and settling down.
It seemed like a natural desire that I happened to lack.
Because of this, I began to feed the limiting belief that it was not in the cards for me to have both marriage and a career as an artist.
Overtime this story I told myself turned into a hard fact:
in order to have a successful career as a woman, I had to do it alone.
I had convinced myself that marriage was a closed door.
Not for me.
The end.
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But as many stories in my life go, the Universe always figures out a way to surprise me once
I think I know what's going on.
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Shane came into my world when I was 27 years old and still on the fast track to never settling down.
(Funny enough, even though I could never see marriage in my future, I have usually had relationships or dated.)
However, at the time Shane and I met, I was different.
I was single, but not necessarily ready to mingle.
By choice, I was not looking to date. I was about to leave for another long contract overseas, and wanted to do it as a single, independent, woman!
I wanted to get to know myself for the first time alone and on a deeper level.
Being single was a sacred time for me.
By being alone I was giving myself the opportunity to focus on self discovery and self love in ways that elevated my being.
I was relating to myself as my own partner, and seeing myself as whole for the first time.
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Allowing myself this time was one of the most powerful and evolutionary gifts I could have ever given myself.
In hindsight, I realize I was intuitively being led to nurture the sacredness of being single, because it may not last forever.
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Shane has a similar backstory.
He also did not believe in settling.
We had both been living very independent lives that we had built on our own, and we were not willing to let just anyone take us away from what we had been working towards.
Luckily, we did keep in touch while I was overseas.
And once I got back to the states, I could feel a shift happening in my subconscious.
I began to picture less of a closed door around partnership and more opportunity to build something bigger than just myself.
With him!
Although these changes in mindset were small in the beginning, they were enough for me to pay attention. I noticed that the stories I would tell myself about the 'importance of being alone' began to change, and I was able to witness what parts of myself were ready to be unblocked and expand.
We had both sparked something in one another that allowed us to envision a different kind of future.
Our partnership would not be a closed door, it would be a brand new chapter.
A chapter with nothing but open doors, opportunities for growth, freedom, and surprises along the way as we continued to grow individually, while simultaneously joining forces.
To me, saying YES to energetically leveling up from single, to fiancé, to wife means:
Choosing to grow beyond my spiritual boundaries with another soul so we can grow higher and live brighter than we ever thought possible.
In our love, I feel an even stronger connection to my path, to source, and personal growth.
And as soon as I was able to open my eyes to what was possible with the right soul for me, only then could I finally feel it and see it so clearly.
<3
This is not a happy ending, it is the start of a brand new and incredible adventure in this life.
I love you so much, Shane.
And I can't wait to be your
WIFE.